We have a Volvo and a Ford, but I car'nt tell which is which.
—Bob
Q: What did the engineer say to the women who was stuck under the tunnel?
A: Don't worry. I understand what you're going through.
—Larry Figure
When the rich man bought a car, he had nothing to chauffeur it.
—Donald Frazier
The man who could not talk aimed his finger at the railroad crossing long after the train had passed. It was a moot point.
—SGT Snorkel
If you run in front of a car, you get tired. If you run after it, you get exhausted.
—Sally Carreras
Q: What would you say to a blind, double-amputee hitch hiker?
A: "Eye eye . . . Hop in. You look 'armless."
—Marg O'Neill
Did you hear about the guys that drove to work together and got sick every time they went through a tunnel? They suffered from car-pool tunnel syndrome.
—Larry Putt
I told my wife I wanted to vacation on some small islands in the Caribbean. She said, "Oh, cay." Actually, the last time I was in the Caribbean I saw my old friend Lee Ward.
—SGT Snorkel
My wife and I were on an ocean voyage when the deck hands mutinied. It went from being a cruise ship to being the crew's ship.
—SGT Snorkel
Kenya tell me about your trip to Africa?
—The Tim Guy
My car was made by AMC and my car's nickname was Nash and my car had a song written about it and my car was a 1962. Forgive me for being such a rambler.
—The Tim Guy
Q: Where do elderly couples go for their second honeymoon?
A: Viagra Falls.
—Tania R. Chase
The Hyundai Sonata such a good car.
—Brendoshmendo
The Korean man walked away from the airplane wreck. He was the Seoul survivor.
—SGT Snorkel
European sports cars are no safer than their American counterparts. I mean, in a crash even a Mercedes bends.
—SGT Snorkel
My wife always wanted to travel, so when she died I mailed her ashes around the world. A few months later the envelopes came back. They were returned to cinder.
—Chalky
While in the Middle East I bought an ink pen. I can't get it to work though. I just don't understand Arab Bic.
—SGT Snorkel
I drove my car into a tree, and then I knew how a Mercades Benz.
—Kokonut_Pete
Never take a taxi driven by a man called Flaherty. Everyone knows that Flaherty gets you nowhere.
—Alan Gooding
When my friend was traveling he could sense the best places to stop for the night. He was blessed with keen inn sight.
—SGT Snorkel
He was just a cool, laid back guy who hung out around those underground trains. He's sub-dude.
—The Tim Guy
I crashed my car into a billboard along the interstate the other day.... It must have been a sign from above.
—elvis
I took a trip to North Africa. It was quite expensive. I hated the Barbary cost.
—SGT Snorkel
I tried to get on a bus without paying this morning, but the driver stopped me. "That's not fare!"
—milvmilvmilv
This time Mary preferred to go back by train, and because she hadn't had anything to eat she took the A-teen-for-tea one.
—Luis
As his doctor recommended cold Turkey to quit smoking, Jim bought warm clothes to wear during his stay in that country.\r\n
—Luis
