I raced down the black diamond trail to pick up my new lift ticket. It was a wicket run.
—J. Moiani
It's appropriate that the Flyers fan with long hair happened to have a number 7 on his shirt. He was in desperate need of a Barber.
—Dan O'Connor
—I heard the Phillies beat the Marlins yesterday.
—That sounds like a fish story to me.
—You got reeled in on that one!
—Took the bait didn't you?
—Ok. I'm FINished.
—These fish puns are gilling me.
—Brian Lester
Baseball is mentioned in the Bible. Genesis 1:1, "In the Big Inning, God . . ."
—Donkey Worth
The pathetic football player began to Madden his coach.
—Jun Ho Ham
The track star was out on a date with a new guy. She became upset when she ran out of things to say.
—Danielle Dawn Jeffcoat
Two robbers went golfing, but they didn't play the fairway.
—Nicholas McCluer
Don't ever let Cinderella play baseball; she'll just run away from the ball.
—Alex Ng
Telling puns while ice skating can cause the ice to crack up.
—Alex Ng
The weight lifter's wife complained that her blouse didn't fit right. He had to rotator cuff. Hey, I tri to write good jokes, so don't pec on me. I thought of this one while listening to the song, "Lat it Be." I'm out of jokes now, so I'll just say, "Bi."
—SGT Snorkel
The weight lifter broke his coffee cup, so he glute it together.
—SGT Snorkel
Jim: In the Scandinavian race, the last Lapp crossed the Finnish line.
Joe: Did he win?
Jim: Norway.
—Donald Frazier
Joe Montana was asked if he wanted to be a defensive lineman. He said he'd pass, so they made him a quarterback. I know, I went long on that one.
—The Tim Guy
The football player enjoyed making up plays on words. He wasn't the place kicker; he was the punner.
—SGT Snorkel
Because the professional umpires have such keen objective vision, I'd rather the protocol the shots.
—The Tim Guy
My boxing hero was Ali until I found out that he had feats of Clay.
—SGT Snorkel
The professional basketball player was diagnosed with microscopic parasites. He had cell ticks.
—SGT Snorkel
The southern boxer was embarrassed that the fifteen-round bout ended in a draw. He was fit to be tied.
—SGT Snorkel
Archery: The study of arrow dynamics.
—Joseph Leff
William Tell and his son went bowling every Sunday morning. As the bells tolled, The Tells bowled.
—Donald Frazier
The knight did not realize he would get a medal for winning the jousting contest. It was a sir prize.
—SGT Snorkel
I wanted to be a car racer, but I didn't have the drive.
—FireMusiq
Mario Andretti blamed the team's computer systems for their run of bad form last season. Apparently, they just didn't have the right drivers.
—Chalky
The gold metal winner in the next Summer olympics will be swimming in Greece.
—punjab
A golfer brings an extra pair of socks incase he gets a hole in one.
—godzillla
Prediction: The winner of the gold medal in the three-meter platform competition will take a dive.
—punjab
When I did bad at sports, I would console myself by writing poetry. In my last Little League season, I kept going from bat to verse.
—SGT Snorkel
It wasn't Sammy Sosa's fault. He kept remembering the old soft drink jingle, "Things go better with Cork."
—SGT Snorkel
Mexicans sometimes play team basketball, but it's mostly Juan on Juan.
—punjab
The deceased wide receiver was buried 8 feet under because he wanted to go deep.
—punjab
Archeologists today announced they had unearthed a pre-historic field resembling a golf course. They proudly noted that they had found the (groan) missing links.
—punjab
The goal-tender always wears a mask because of an unfortunate face-off.
—punjab
Favorite Jewish winter sport: Shalom Slalom.
—punjab
The National Drunkards' Association has just formed a hurling team.
—punjab
The next gold medalist in wrestling won't give you a straight answer because you'll never be able to pin him down.
—punjab
The golfer was so avid he ate a roast beef sand wedge.
—punjab
A local group of animal doctors is organizing a 10K race. I am going to be a sponsor. I always support Vet runs.
—SGT Snorkel
I once entered a bicycle race around an arboretum. It was called the Tour de Plants.
—SGT Snorkel
On the fourth Sunday in January, my wife always gives me a choice. I can eat her homemade oyster stew or I can go to the local bowling alley. I look forward to soup or bowl Sunday.
—SGT Snorkel
The ex-boxer wrote a book describing how much fun his sport was. He called it, The Joy of Socks.
—SGT Snorkel
After the Track and Field meet I asked the athlete why he did so poorly in the throwing event. He refused to discus it.
—SGT Snorkel
The Montreal baseball team doesn't like to play extra inning games because they don't want their fans to be over-Exposed.
—Charles A. George
When we would play baseball on vacant lots as children, we used old hubcaps to mark the bases. Be it ever so humble, there's no base like chrome.
—SGT Snorkel
I attended a baseball game in Bangkok. I left after the 15th inning. It was still a Thai ballgame.
—SGT Snorkel
Q: How did the lion feel after he devoured the female Roman athlete?
A: He was gladiator.
—Sam
When the basketball player was executed, the witnesses applauded his hang time.
—punjab
That female track and field athlete sure drinks a lot of coffee. Everyone calls her Java Lynn.
—SGT Snorkel
The weakling went into the gym to get muscles. He couldn't even lift 10 pounds. He was so embarrased, he couldn't weight to leave.
—The Tim Guy
Would the body building dinosaur be called Tricepsaretops?
—SGT Snorkel
The professional baseball player from Los Angeles decided one day to visit the art gallery rather than play the game. He was considered and artfull Dodger.
—The Tim Guy
The basketball player was taken to court for continuous dribbling.
—The Tim Guy
While I was golfing, the fellow who was carrying my clubs made a snide remark about my ability. I said, "What a caddie comment."
—SGT Snorkel
She earned a salary as a professional volley ball player and was satisfied with her net pay.
—The Tim Guy
This guy was the hottest boxer in town. He was a real swelter weight champion.
—The Tim Guy
The nuns had been sewing on a cowl for quite some time. When they finished they relaxed with a game of tennis. It became an annual event and eventually a tournament. Surely you have heard of Wimple Done.
—SGT Snorkel
The Notre Dame football team sure seems nervous. I guess that's why they are called the Fidgeting Irish.
—SGT Snorkel
Babe Ruth was late for a game at Yankee Stadium. He stopped a man on a bicycle. The man refused to give up the bike so the Babe knocked him out and took the bike. This was the first time that the Babe hit for the cycle
—Ted Kramer
When Seattle's new baseball stadium was opened, the city wanted to get rid of the old one at any price. One councilperson said, "A horse, a horse, the Kingdome for a horse."
—SGT Snorkel
How does the matador keep his skin so soft? Oil of ole.
—SGT Snorkel
The quarterback threw the ball fifty yards. That is an example of a sentence written in the pass tense.
—SGT Snorkel
My professor friend is analyzing the effect that the length of the oar has on the speed of a scull. He hasn't come to any conclusions. He's still gathering the row data.
—SGT Snorkel
I was having lunch with a former Celtics great. When lunch was over I told the waiter, "I'll have le cheque." Shoot, I know that was barely passable, but I'll rebound. Don't give me the Bird.
—SGT Snorkel
The famous golfer was angry when the tournament was even after 72 holes. Tie! Grr!
—SGT Snorkel
The football coach didn't think that the robot quarterback was the wave of the future. He said, "This too shall pass."
—SGT Snorkel
My friend was telling me of his job painting the end zones of football fields, but he kept drifting off to other topics. Finally he said, "Sorry, I dye grass."
—SGT Snorkel
The Cubs were doing great Prior to loosing their starting pitcher.
—elvis
I was in pain when I ruptured a disc playing frisbee the other day.
—elvis
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
—Kristin
That Notre Dame quarterback was able to prepare two gardens for planting on the same day. It was a Quinn tilling.
—SGT Snorkel
The obnoxious janitor decided to try power lifting. He was good at the cleaning jerk.
—SGT Snorkel
It was a chilly day and the soccer announcer was looking for fuel to burn to keep warm. He kept shouting, "Coal, coal."
—SGT Snorkel
The mediocre fighter wished he had become a prison guard when he had a chance. "I could have been a con tender."
—SGT Snorkel
There were a lot of athletic groups at the tournament. The place was teeming with competitors.
—SGT Snorkel
My career as an offensive lineman was short lived. I stunk at right guard.
—SGT Snorkel
The paper mill owner wanted to strengthen his upper back. He did a lot of pulps.
—SGT Snorkel
There is a new award for the college football linebacker who does the best job of brown nosing his coach. It is called the butt kiss award.
—SGT Snorkel
I have been taking a body building supplement. I am getting stronger, but it has affected my IQ. It is called Cretin.
—SGT Snorkel
One Sunday afternoon the Three Musketeers decided to play a game of touché football.
—SGT Snorkel
"In sports news: Cow Tech won today, making them bull eligible."
—SGT Snorkel
The golfer guessed that his ball landed about twenty feet off the fairway. Of course, that was just a rough estimate.
—SGT Snorkel
I wondered why the baseball got bigger. Then it hit me.
—rico
The general began bowling before his aide had entered his name on the score sheet. He had launched a preemptive strike.
—SGT Snorkel
While watching the baseball game in Los Angeles, I got an overwhelming feeling that I had seen the game before. It was a clear case of Dodger vu.
—SGT Snorkel
The card player's favorite baseball team is the Oakland Ace.
—SGT Snorkel
When the Eastern European athlete was too old to compete he became an electrician. He was a Pole volter.
—SGT Snorkel
The orchard worker's favorite football team is the Green Bay Pickers but the brewer likes the Chicago Beers.
—SGT Snorkel
The French Royalist roots for the Miami Dauphins and the drunk likes the Saint Louis Rums.
—SGT Snorkel
That brawl at Miller Park was kind of funny. It was a Brewer ha ha.
—SGT Snorkel
The ballet dancer's favorite football team is the New York Jetes. The Emcee likes the Houston Tuxes and the Lakers fan roots for the Dallas Kobes.
—SGT Snorkel
The helmsman's favorite football team is the Oakland Rudders. The motor cycle gang member roots for the Oakland Riders. The inept man prefers the Cincinnati Bungles.
—SGT Snorkel
When Jason Kidd was traded to the Mavericks, he turned in his new jersey.
—sweey
The rodeo cowboy said that the bull was the most energetic animal ever. That sounded like hyper bully.
—SGT Snorkel
As the javelin thrower was leaving the track meet he was approached by a panhandler. The panhandler said, "Buddy, can you spear a dime?"
—SGT Snorkel
The opposing tennis team was a bunch of deuce bags.
—Lintong
Q: How does a martial artist say hello?
A: [quick motion with hand] Hai!
—Les from Sea Cliff
The Shaq trade was a Big Deal.
—matthew koster
That Colorado baseball player has been in the league for ten years. Why was he named Rockie of the Year?
—SGT Snorkel
In sports my uniform number was always ten because I was one zero.
—SGT Snorkel
My friend was the so inebriated on the golf course that I had to make his tee shots for him. I was the designated driver.
—SGT Snorkel
The PGA really understands the importance of literacy. One of their biggest tournaments is the Reader Cup.
—SGT Snorkel
I was leading off first base when a tiny insect landed on my arm. The umpire called me out because of the infield fly rule.
—SGT Snorkel
I was in a Road Rally. Three cars started before I went forth.
—SGT Snorkel
That basketball player is always talking. He is the most voluble player.
—SGT Snorkel
