You know what they say about horticulture? You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
—Clay Hopper
For Christmas, I decided to go out on a limb and ask for a treehouse.
—Brian Powell
She may just be a wallflower, but she's a Dandelion in bed.
—Donald Frazier
Morose plants are just a sigh in' of the thymes.
—Adrienne Najjar
After he deflowered me, I felt so violeted.
—Hazelbite
Trees are so dumb; ask them any question and they'll be stumped.
—Alex Ng
My floribunda rose to occasion at the flower show. The root cause stemmed from good soil. I will leave it at that.
—The Tim Guy
If you went into your front garden and didn't see any grass, would you go into your back garden looking forlorn?
—PeeWee
I am going on vacation to a place with lots of spore-bearing plants. It is a fern country.
—SGT Snorkel
Farmer Brown wanted to enlarge his crop production, so he took a course in Viagriculture.
—punjab
My dad loves his trees. I remember he took me to a forest once and said "Look son, cedar trees." I said "Yes dad, I can see them fine."
—Chalky
I'm sure you grew those flowers, but your lilacs credibility.
—Bewye Marf
The irate farmer gave his failing corn crop a stern lecture. Unfortunately, it fell on deaf ears.
—punjab
Complaint from my gardner: "I enjoy pruning junipers, but I get a crick out of yews."
—punjab
The thing I treasure the most about the tale of the prodigal mushroom is the morel of the story.
—punjab
I used to have a collection of sea flowers but got rid of it when I started collecting branches from palm trees. With fronds like those, who needs anemones?
—SGT Snorkel
So what do infant trees actually do in the Army anyway?
—The Tim Guys
Q: Why did the sailor cut off a big branch from a tree growing on the beach?
A: Because he wanted to be sure he would have many shore leaves!
—David R. Yale from BestPuns.com
