I get lost every time I visit Chinatown. It's difficult to get Oriented.
—Mr G.
How am I supposed to go grocery shopping in the Carribbean? The aisles are not labled.
—Joe Morris
Juneau the capitol of Alaska?
—Mo
Billy: My father's brother works in Northern Alaska.
Johnny: Nome?
Billy: No 'im? He's my uncle!
—Mr G.
Take your next vacation in Cuba. I'm quite sure you will be Havana good time.
—Donald Frazier
The guilt-ridden Egyptian threw himself into de Nile.
—Dobbin
The capital of Taiwan is full of lots of aggressive, risk-taking, entrepreneurial individuals. Many of the people there have Taipei personalities.
—David B.
—What did Iowa? She weighed a Washington.
—What did Tennessee? She saw Idaho.
—What did Delaware? She wore a New Jersey.
—What did Ohio? She owed a mass of two checks.
—Alice in TX
If you Russia round and Ukraine your neck, don't Crimea River.
—Donald Frazier
Q: Which part of the U.S. is most preferred by gay men?
A: Tex' ass.
—Malte
The Chinese emperoress was devastated when she realized that her husband had left to live with his new lover in Laramie. She cried: "Why? Oh, Ming!"
—Malte
Why did the plane fall on Queens? I guess it has been laden too much.
—Sally Carreras
I can imagine how difficult it must be for the U.S. military to catch Osama in Afghanistan. I'm sure he's bin in hiding.
—Macross
Q: What is more stupid than surfing Nebraska?
A: Wheeling, West Virginia.
—Sally Carreras
That Eskimo chick looks cold. Al aska if she wants a blanket to keep warm.
—Macross
There was an explosion in a Paris floor-covering store. The headline read: Linoleum Blown Apart.
—Joe Hanus
Safaris I can tell, those animal hunting adventures occur either in Africa or Australia.
—The Tim Guy
I went to a large city in Minnesota recently. It was a really bad time. I met many hopeless people. During the trip a wheel came off my car. The mechanic said it was because of Duluth lug nuts.
—SGT Snorkel
Ed was on trial in Africa for the murder of Mathew Jaro. Ed said he was innocent and would never Kilimanjaro.
—The Tim Guy
When I was in the Middle East, I cut my arm. The doctor put a piece of Gaza over it.
—SGT Snorkel
I like partying with my friends from Formosa. I always Taiwan on.
—SGT Snorkel
I think it would be pretty slick to travel to Greece.
—The Tim Guy
A business trip took me to a suburb just north of San Francisco. I wanted to see the sights, but I was so busy I saw so little of the city.
—SGT Snorkel
Three men, Phillip, John, and Dave, were sitting around one day. John asked Dave to name any inhabitants of Asia. "I'm mot sure," says Dave. "Ask Filipinos"
—Chalky
My father asked me if we were going to win the war in Iraq. I told him that it was in the Bagh, Dad.
—David M. Laushey
The con man managed to take the life savings of an entire Alaskan town. When asked why it took 10 years to do it, he replied, "Nome wasn't bilked in a day!"
—punjab
The two Lithuanian enemies decided to make up. They said, "Letts be friends."
—SGT Snorkel
I asked the farmer near the southeastern China city what kind of animal was in his field. He said, "That's Macau."
—SGT Snorkel
My friend is an experienced African traveler. I asked him, "Kenya get from Mombasa to Nairobi by bus?"
—SGT Snorkel
Aunt Betty was knitting something that was shaped like an Asian country. Uncle Stanley asked what it was. She said, "It's an Afghan, Stan."
—SGT Snorkel
I was playing hide and seek in the capitol of Kansas. I told the fellow who was counting not Topeka.
—SGT Snorkel
I knew the child in the suburb of Toledo was lost. He kept screaming, "Maumee, Maumee."
—SGT Snorkel
The Idaho bank customer was so mad he told a friend he was going to poke a teller.
—punjab
I was visiting the capital of Germany when I got the urge to knock down pins with a ball. Naturally, I looked for a Berlin alley.
—SGT Snorkel
I think that geographic puns are Oslo as you can go. There is Norway I would do that.
—SGT Snorkel
a man in South Dakota who watched the Statues beings carved on Mount Rushmore thought it was a monumental undertaking.
—Richard Waghalter
I was visiting friends in the capitol of Bulgaria. I asked them where I could sit. They told me to sit on the Sofia.
—SGT Snorkel
While visiting the beach I heard the most beautiful music. I asked my friend what it was. He pointed to the natural barrier in the lagoon and said it was the choral reef.
—SGT Snorkel
A man was asked if he wanted Eskimo pie for dessert, he responded, "I'll have Nunavut".
—Dan
Montanans must like large plates of cookies. Their motto is "Oreo Platter."
—SGT Snorkel
When they were naming a city in Nebraska, someone suggested naming it after a famous German Physicist. People scoffed at the idea. They said, "Ohm? Ha!"
—SGT Snorkel
I wanted to go to Amsterdam yesterday to blow all my money, but my plan went to pot.
—johnny boss
Don't blame the Californians. It's San Andreas' fault.
—punjab
The lady from western Australia was worried. She lost her purse. The mother from New Jersey was frantic. She lost her purse and boy.
—SGT Snorkel
When I visited Valetta I wanted bacon and eggs for breakfast. All they had, though, was Malta Meal.
—SGT Snorkel
I was swimming in the ocean off a California city south of San Francisco. I saw a broad, flat fish with a long tail. Naturally, it was a manta ray.
—SGT Snorkel
The reason no one can find the monster is that it escaped. Somebody forgot to lock Ness.
—SGT Snorkel
I just cannot fathom the total depth of all the oceans of the world.
—The Tim Guy
When I sailed down that strip of water that lies between Alaska and Russia, I could not keep my bearing straight.
—The Tim guy
Our son Ken and his friends traveled to the south but only one state our Ken saw.
—The Tim Guy
While driving through northern Iraq I got caught in a traffic jam. I started to get hungry. You would too if you saw all those Kurds in the way.
—SGT Snorkel
The comedian from Oklahoma was very popular with his friends. They were always saying to him, "Hey, buddy, Tulsa joke."
—SGT Snorkel
While visiting some Alaskan islands, I thought I saw an optometrist. It was just an optical Aleutian.
—SGT Snorkel
What did one Idaho worker say to the other Idaho worker? "The boss is coming, look Boise."
—SGT Snorkel
The flying mammals in Ghana are very agile. They are known as Accra bats.
—SGT Snorkel
I rented a car to tour the long narrow inlets on the Norwegian coast. Of course, I had rented a fjord Explorer.
—SGT Snorkel
I had to take out a loan for my trip to Dallas. The only two things in life that are certain are debt and Texas.
—SGT Snorkel
I once picked apples and pears on an orchard near Mount Vesuvius. Every Friday they would give me my pome pay.
—SGT Snorkel
When the farmer went on vacation he decided to see the Taj Mahal since he was interested in Agra culture.
—SGT Snorkel
When I visited the White Cliffs of Dover I realized the old saying is true. Chalk is steep.
—SGT Snorkel
That professor from Gonzaga University is very quiet. He is soft Spokane.
—SGT Snorkel
I was getting ready for a fancy party in a Wisconsin city, but the cheese dip didn't taste right. I asked, "What does the fondue lack?"
—SGT Snorkel
When I visited the small, low lying islands in the Atlantic, I brought my first aid kit. I didn't think I'd need it but I brought it just in cays.
—SGT Snorkel
Would a Boston comedian be called a Cape card? Would a picky Boston fisherman only keep cod?
—SGT Snorkel
I was walking along the river in Cairo when I got the feeling that life was pointless. Does that make me a Nileist?
—SGT Snorkel
I went to a gas station in Sarajevo and started looking for the attendant. It turned out that the place was self Serb.
—SGT Snorkel
When I arrived at the seaport in Hawaii I expected someone to say, "Aloha." However, all the lady said was "Hilo."
—SGT Snorkel
When I wanted to see the campus in Palo Alto, my friend, Stanley, offered to drive. So we drove to the campus in Stan's Ford.
—SGT Snorkel
I went fishing on a coral island in the South Pacific, but I didn't catch a thing. I had no luck atoll.
—SGT Snorkel
It is easy to prepare supper in Addis Ababa. All of the cans are easy openin'.
—SGT Snorkel
The National Spelling Bee should always be held in Phonics, Arizona.
—SGT Snorkel
What did Delaware? A New Jersey. What did Tennessee? The same thing that Arkansas. Is she Hungary? I don't know, Alaska. What shall I Fiji? Some Turkey and Greece. Are you still Hungary? Yes Siam. Do you want Samoa?
—Kip Gonzales
I have been itching to see the Muslim house of worship in the capital of Ecuador. It is called Mosque Quito.
—SGT Snorkel
I was eating breakfast on a beach in southern California when I dropped my waffle. I hated sandy Eggo.
—SGT Snorkel
I didn't realize there were so many lake Indians in the Middle East until we started fighting Operation Iroquois Freedom.
—SGT Snorkel
Would Nome, Alaska be an example of an ice burg?
—SGT Snorkel
The Hawaiian man wanted an outdoor wedding so he led his bride down the isle.
—SGT Snorkel
The American tourists visited the cliffs of Dover. They wound up chalking up a lot of good experience from it.
—emily m. soifer
The port was very beautiful. The sailors said it was haven on earth.
—SGT Snorkel
Italy: Its capital is the best for International Rome-ing.
—pats
Would a blind alley in Nome, Alaska be called a cooldesac?
—SGT Snorkel
The Hong Kong businessman died, leaving a huge estate to his heirs. It was the great will of China.
—SGT Snorkel
While in Annapolis I visited a famous writer's workshop, the US Novel Academy.
—SGT Snorkel
The Eiffel Tower: It's an 'eye-full!'
—Teresa L. Porter
I met the woman of my dreams at the base of Mount Vesuvius. She is the lava my life.
—SGT Snorkel
I had a plan to extract minerals from the ground in the capital of Delaware. Everyone said it couldn't be done, but I said it was a simple case of mine Dover matter.
—SGT Snorkel
When I ran into my friend from London I said, "Long Thames, no see."
—SGT Snorkel
My friend asked me what the capital of Alaska was. I replied, "Don't Juneau?"
—Mark
I entered a raffle at a fair in Manitoba. I got lucky. I was able to win a pig.
—SGT Snorkel
If there were a huge fire in the capitol of the Sooner State, would that make Oklahoma sooty?
—SGT Snorkel
The father in Nepal said to his son, "Do you want to learn how to guide people up Mount Everest?" His son said, "Sure, Pa."
—SGT Snorkel
