The pirates tried to play cards, but all they had was a poop deck.
—Alex Ng
We had a good time in Las Vegas. We stopped and watched the action at the craps table. I said, "This is paradise."
—SGT Snorkel
The Jedi knight who crossed over to the dark side was known throughout London for his prowess at pub games. Fittingly, he was known as Dart Vader.
—SGT Snorkel
At the card game last night, we started arguing over who was going to distribute the cards. My friend said, "Since I'm the very best there is, I deal."
—SGT Snorkel
I was playing a friendly game of poker with some of my family members. My uncle said, "I'd like a good deal for a change." I piped up and said, "Well, I'd like some good change for a deal."
—The Tim Guy
I knew nothing about giving tips at the racetrack until another fellow tout me how to do it.
—SGT Snorkel
I never indulge in games of chance. I was never blessed with a lotto luck.
—SGT Snorkel
I think they are giving money away with potato snacks in Las Vegas—I was at a casino last week and saw a sign, "Cash in your chips"
—Chalky
The people who regularly compete in the national tile games lead a hard-Scrabble existence.
—punjab
That reformed puzzle addict was really nice. He never had a cross word for anyone.
—SGT Snorkel
When I got into the poker game in Mexico I got a peso the action.
—SGT Snorkel
My sister wanted to put in an apple piece for Monopoly, but I told her no, since it was non-cannon.
—Rich
Would a beginning chess player be called a rookie?
—SGT Snorkel
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
—Yaeli
After I won every chess match using my most powerful piece I said, "That looks like a Queen sweep, no Pawn intended."
—SGT Snorkel
Q: What is the favorite game on Navy ships?
A: Seaman Says.
—SGT Snorkel
The English gentleman could not play cribbage. You can't put a squire peg in a round hole.
—SGT Snorkel
The chess master won every game by using his most powerful piece. He made a queen sweep (no pawn intended).
—SGT Snorkel
