Noticing that his son was completely stoned, the furious parent yelled, "Was this your idea, or did that punk friend of yours bring the weed?" The son replied, "No, man. It was a joint effort."
—Digital Cons
The constant LSD user fell to the ground, and when his friend asked what happened, he said he tripped.
—Digital Cons
The carpenter did a poor job framing the house. He must have been hammered or on drugs.
—Macross
Q: What is the cocain addict's favorite show?
A: Whose Line is it Anyway?
—Wyld Zebra
The man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
—Geralyn
We had to mix several different buds to roll a joint. Fortunately, our pot-luck was pretty good.
—suporpimp
I tried snorting coke once—I nearly drowned!
—Ross Phillips
He asked me if I still smoked. I said, "No, I got sickadette."
—Brendoshmendo
I went to a psychiatrist about my drug problem. He reefered me to a specialist.
—SGT Snorkel
The hillbilly wanted to sit down under the oak in his backyard in order to enjoy a plug of tobacco, but there wasn't enough room. Chew is company, tree is a crowd.
—SGT Snorkel
Frodo looked at his smoking addiction as a bad hobbit.
—SGT Snorkel
The crazy chemist made a new kind of speed. After trying it, he said 'Wow, that was weird.' Yes, there definitely was Meth odd to his madness.
—Gray Browse
I have been taking pills that make me gaze intently at people. They are stareoids.
—SGT Snorkel
Narcotics Anonymous two newest members:\r\nAnita Needle and Sharon DirtyNeedles.
—Rhonda Roach
That drug dealer is a terrible housekeeper. His place is a meth!
—SGT Snorkel
Hamlet wasn't sure if he should try marijuana or not. Doobie or not doobie.
—SGT Snorkel
There was a sign on the lawn at the drug rehab center that said "Keep off the grass!"
—rico
The Mafia chief decided to start a marijuana operation. He put his son in charge of it. It was a clear case of new potism.
—SGT Snorkel
The author was arrested while teaching a workshop for aspiring fantasy writers. Police said he was running a myth lab.
—SGT Snorkel
If tobacco is the devil's weed, I will never smoke. As it says in Psalms, "I will fire no evil."
—SGT Snorkel
