I'm confused about the dress code. Would a tuxedo be suitable?
—Mike Moscony
If you took away the laundry woman's iron, would she become de-pressed?
—Adrian Bozzay
Did you hear about the two silkworms that had a race? It ended up in a tie.
—Phil Hampton
Melissa covered her leather jacket to dissuade burglars.
—JOJO
The lovers were wearing the exact same shoes. They were soulmates, obviously.
—Aleatha M.
Ballerinas wear tutus, but one-legged ballerinas wear oneones.
—Ima Quester
I think my lingerie has been laced with something. . . .
—Branden Sphar
That farmer is into retro fashion. He has started wearing bale bottom pants.
—SGT Snorkel
A man was shot dead by Police in London yesterday for wearing a T-shirt. A report by the Chief of Police stated "Anyone bearing arms is considered a threat."
—Chalky
My friend couldn't decide what shirt to wear and threw a tantrum. It was really over the top.
—Samantha Wilson
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
—Gary Dean Moore
I have a suit with "13 Amps" written in big letters on the back and "240 Volts" written on the front. People say I am power dressing!
—Chalky
I told her that no sensible person would take her out in a bikini, so she went with a little moron.
—Craig Walters
When he went to his tailor to pick up his suit, he was disappointed when he was told that the vest is yet to come.
—punjab
When he wasn't delivering presents, Kris Kringle wore a flat, woolen hat. It was a Tam o' Santa.
—SGT Snorkel
The synagogue soloist liked wearing a flat, woolen cap. He called it the Tam o' Cantor.
—SGT Snorkel
As the lady was leaving the fashionable dress shop she was caught in a revolving Dior.
—punjab
The southern lace broke up with the neck tie because she found herself another bow.
—The Tim Guy
We have too many choir robes in our church. In fact we have a surplice.
—SGT Snorkel
Although the nun didn't mind her sister borrowing an outfit, she told her not to make it a habit.
—cathy robinson
Last night ESPN was showing highlights from many old prize fights. Court TV was presenting famous legal arguments. I kept it on Court TV since I prefer briefs to boxer shorts.
—SGT Snorkel
I know you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, but you can make a fancy dress. Ear today, gown tomorrow.
—SGT Snorkel
I knew my brother had been borrowing my clothes when I saw him with that rum drink. I shouted, "That's my tie!"
—SGT Snorkel
The fortune teller could see the future by looking at my shoes. They were portent leather.
—SGT Snorkel
Sign at a nudist camp: "Sorry - Clothed for Winter."
—Punned It
