They're now making banana wine up in Queensland—gives a whole new meaning to the term 'out on a bender.'
—Marc Matthews
I usually drink gin and tonic, but tonight, I decided to shake things up, so I had a martini.
—Brian Powell
Q: What must you do if a Pepsi-Cola truck driver gets sick?
A: You call Dr. Pepper!
—Jeff A. Wall
A worker from the Pepsi-Cola company was brought to trial today. . . . after stealing a line of Coke.
—Branden Sphar
The hangover I had this morning made me feel tense. I guess I have to learn to un-wine.
—SGT Snorkel
I bought some Fosters beer last night. It is very high koala-ty, but the price is more than I Canberra.
—SGT Snorkel
I started making home-made beer. I guess it is bear beer, because it's still bruin.
—SGT Snorkel
Are drunken, mispronounced words made up on the slur of the moment?
—Bill Tasker
The depressed beer maker spent the entire weekend brooding.
—SGT Snorkel
The doctor liked to put hickory flavor in Daiquiris. We call him hickory daiquiri doc.
—The Tim Guy
The vintner developed a wine that tasted like canned meat. He called it Asti Spamanti.
—SGT Snorkel
I have been trying to calculate the energy released by the bubbles popping in a glass of pop. I have always enjoyed fizzics.
—SGT Snorkel
Commercial: Orange you smart, you drinking orange juice!
Person Watching: No, I can't concentrate!
—froggy girl
Q: Why should people who fall out of love drink strong green alcohol?
A: Because absinth makes the heart grow fonder, of course.
—Andrew Porter
That coffee pun could serve as grounds for divorce from whatever drip submitted it—but this site is a valuable resource, so thanks a latte & have a grande!
—TXbarista
When Ernest and Julio start wisecracking, is it Gallo's humor?
—punjab
I told the rude bartender I wanted a heavy, dark, bitter beer. He told me to go to ale.
—SGT Snorkel
Q: Why does that person have such a sardonic look on his face?
A: He just drank a shot of wry whiskey.
—punjab
When the french prostitute starts drinking she ends up bleaching her hair. That's because, "Absinthe makes the tart go blonder."
—punjab
I was invited to an afternoon social. I asked what the drink would be. They said it might be oolong, or maybe pekoe, or perhaps Earl Grey. I said, "Don't tease me."
—SGT Snorkel
The Chinese Nationalists are normally a temperate group. However, they have been known to Taiwan on from time to time.
—punjab
Parilla was giving me lip on how to make root beer. I had my own way and insisted to her, "Stop giving me sass, Parilla".
—The Tim Guy
I don't drink fermented beverages. A wine is a terrible thing to taste.
—SGT Snorkel
Those two beer drinkers are having quite an argument. They are at lagerheads.
—SGT Snorkel
I was driving my Geo to the liquor store to buy fortified wine. I didn't care what brand. I was looking for any port in a Storm.
—SGT Snorkel
The computer programmer decided to try making beer. Ugh. His bock was worse than his byte.
—SGT Snorkel
The cow used cola to wash down her cud. She invented rumen coke.
—SGT Snorkel
I keep my alcoholic beverages in a highly- polished container. It is my lacquer cabinet.
—SGT Snorkel
I got in a fight with a Japanese bartender. He gave me a sake in the mouth.
—SGT Snorkel
I am not upset that my friend gets a different drink than I do at Starbucks. I always say, "Live and latte live."
—SGT Snorkel
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
—Punned It
This coffee's muddy!
That's funny; it was only ground this morning.
—Punned It
The witches relaxed by drinking Royal Crone Cola.
—SGT Snorkel
