Moving statues? Go figure!
—Adrian Bozzay
A thief stole some valuable paintings, but the police caught him two blocks away when his Econo-Bus ran out of fuel. He told the police, "I needed Monet for De Gas to make the Van Gogh."
—Donald Frazier
The doctor said my child was autistic. That can't be. He can't draw worth a darn.
—SGT Snorkel
The painting by the Frenchman was bought with other people's Monet.
—Steve Denton
Q: What did the artist do when he was challenged to a sword fight?
A: He drew.
—Rita Maggie Zine
That artist is too gory! I can't believe he had De Gauss to draw it!
—Branden Sphar
I entered a raffle which featured paintings of famous tsars. One of the paintings was great; the other wasn't very good. I had hoped to win the good one, but, of course, Ivan the Terrible.
—SGT Snorkel
Willie and Joe liked to spend their free time in noisy shopping centers. They loved the mall din. As did we all. Rest in peace, Bill Mauldin.
—SGT Snorkel
I once tried to get Michelangelo's autograph, but he gave me the brush off!
—Chalky
The sculptor did not arrive by coach. He Rodin.
—Chalky
My local politician painted his policies in a picture. He was canvasing for votes.
—Chalky
Art critic to Rodin: "I don't give a Thinker's damn about your statue."
—punjab
The cheese sculptor was very krafty with her designs.
—The Tim Guy
When I am not drawing or painting I like to go around my house and plug stuff in.... It's kind of a creative outlet for me.
—elvis
I visited the Air Force Museum of Art the other day, nothing extraordinary, just plane pictures, thats all.
—elvis
I am drawing the conclusion that portrait artists are talented. Let's face it, you can really get a head in this field.
—elvis
The magic art teacher put the magic clay wizard into the magic oven, and once it hardened, she covered it with a magic fur coat and said to the class, "Look! It's Harry Pottery!"
—"Paco, Yo!"
I'd like to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.
—Jarod Kintz
—tiffany
My artist friend paints pictures of silent thespians wearing blue jeans. He is a pant a mime artist.
—SGT Snorkel
Talented artists tend to draw attention to themselves.
—Clint Gillespie
I was enamored with the famous Paris art museum. It was Louvre at first site.
—SGT Snorkel
The museum had a 3-D display depicting a modern funeral parlor. It was a die-orama.
—SGT Snorkel
