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• Mr. Ed could not give the commencement speech. He was horse.

• My brother watches TRL every day. It is a Daly nuisance.

• Our plan to show an old television episode at the movie theater failed. It seemed that the show was screened excessively before its theater debut.

• Try not to put so much of the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire fan mail in your box. We don't have to phil bin.

• I was advised to move my entertainment system, but my television was set.

• Inadvertently tearing a page in his new TV Guide, the television fan was forced to tape his favorite show.

• The building contractor needed the money from a castle remodeling job to buy his new television set. It would be impossible for him to watch TV without a re-moat.

• The news caster delivered an in-depth report from the deep end of the local swimming pool.

• Our original plan was to ask the children's television star to choose between the two containers of butter, which were both labeled with capital letters. Our plan failed, though, when the actor failed to tell a tub B.

• I saw a ridiculous show on MTV where the host tried to catch a fish with his bare hands. Next time, I'll watch The Reel World.

• Regis Philbin recently drew up his will—Who wants to be a million heir?

• Record two television shows at the same time? Why, that's not even remotely possible.