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• I couldn't believe that my assistant decided to do his advanced CO₂ studies in Greenland. Everyone knows that carbon dioxide is non-polar.

• I decided to pass on the kidney stone trivia question.

• I no longer need the taxonomy reports. Please phylum away.

• Why must my chemistry class be scheduled so periodically?

• The scientist, busy with his time machine, was presently unavailable.

• The small-mammal ice-sculpting contest was judged by a chemist-he was obviously familiar with moles of solid H₂0.

• The Law of Conservation of Mass seemed very complicated. I knew that a simple reaction between two substances was not the end of the matter.

• Sir, I don't have any stoichiometry playing cards. Everyone knows that I deal gas laws.

• Copernicus was a bit of an ex-centric.

• What do you mean you can't see these atomic particles? You're looking right atom.

• The petrified insect from the Italian Peninsula was thought to have lived during the Roman tic period.

• Static broke up the scientist's telephoned-in report on cellular decay.

• The boating pier has been slowly decaying due to an exchange of electrons. I guess we'll have to redox.

• When the question of an appropriate system of measurement for subatomic particles arises, I'm very pro ton.

• This new time machine will prove that civilized humans emerged only after the development of speech capabilities—that's my prediction, anyway.

• On the moon, an administrator has no trouble reducing the weight of the masses.

• You'll never be able to drive a car at supersonic speeds. The barrier is quite sound.

• In order to calculate the volume of water at a particular pressure, I had to Boyle it.

• The transportation engineer couldn't waste time plotting the voltages from the static-electricity generator. He had a van to graaff.