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Original Hodgepodge: Tom Swifties

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  • "The gears on my bicycle need replacing," Tom said cogently.

  • "Don't throw trash on the ground!" Tom said litterally.

  • "No, add before you subtract," Tom presumed.

  • "This table needs to be resanded," said Tom planely.

  • "I just returned from my rafting trip," blurted out Tom rapidly.

  • "How could I have left my uniform in my locker?" Tom barely whispered.

  • "I need to talk to a priest," stated Tom absolutely.

  • "How was your trip to Key West?" Tom queried.

  • "But I don't want to fix the roof," Tom replied.

  • "I prefer toast without butter," Tom said dryly.

  • "I'll take a gin and tonic," Tom said spiritedly.

  • "Were any messages left for me in my absence?" Tom asked phonetically.

  • "What do you mean, 'The patient with gangrene is in the next room'?" Tom asked disarmingly.

  • "I can't understand Dennis Miller," Tom said disallusionaly.

  • "Where's the blue center?" Tom asked ascertively.

  • "I don't eat fish with a bronze tinge," Tom snapped.

  • "I just love Tupperware parties," Tom stated freshly.

  • "This day has not proved to be felicitous," Tom said sadistically.

  • "What metal is used to make steel?" Tom asked ironically.

  • "I like pi," Tom said irrationally.

  • "Who wrote Gulliver's Travels?" Tom asked swiftly.

  • "If the President becomes incapacitated, the Vice President takes over," Tom asummed.

  • "So, what does k equal?" Tom asked constantly.

  • "I'm thinking of the odor right now," Tom said sentimentally.

  • "I don't live in Greece anymore," Tom said discretely.

  • "No, the reciprocal of cosecant," Tom sined.

  • "Not the tin man!" Tom shouted dishearteningly.

  • "Where'd my other shoe go?" Tom asked despairingly.

  • "An 'equals' sign is used to store a variable, not to show equality," Tom said basically.

  • "But this is my one-floor apartment," Tom said flatly.

  • "I will put Social Security in a lockbox," Tom said allegorically.

  • "Watch me jump off of this Parisian bridge," Tom said inseinely.

  • "But I always pay my bills on time," Tom said credibly.

  • "I'm not allowed to smoke at the Texaco station," Tom fumed.

  • "I just bought a pet bird," Tom said gullibly.

  • "One of the corners is cut to 89 degrees," Tom said acutely.

  • "I didn't even notice the large angle," Tom said obtusely.

  • "I told you to clean up the fumes," Tom said obnoxiously.

  • "Don't play a flat!" Tom said sharply.

  • "I usually pitch for my softball team," Tom said underhandedly.

  • "Mine is shaped like a rooster," Tom said vanely.

  • "My hair needs more than just shampoo," Tom said conditionally.

  • "I wish that I had no need for government handouts," Tom said dolefully.

  • "I should have written down the proposed food supplies," Tom said listlessly.

  • "I don't like curse words," Tom discussed.

  • "We only lost the game by a couple of runs," Tom said with fortitude.

  • "Your poem is too short," Tom said adversely.

  • "In order for my eBay business to survive, I will need to find some new customers," Tom said morbidly.

  • "I don't want to sleep in a cabin," Tom said with intent.

  • "I don't like ground coffee," Tom said instantly.

  • "Play my song again!" Tom exclaimed resoundingly.

  • "That's the old way to make a bibliographic entry," Tom said excitedly.

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